Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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