I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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