who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
