We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
