oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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