i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
