hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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