I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
