I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
