i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
