Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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