He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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