You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's the barista slut.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
