Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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