Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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