he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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