she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
