You're so nebulous sometimes
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
