k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
