Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He did a backflip because drugs
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
