She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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