We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
your thong is hanging out like whoa
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
