I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
