just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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