The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
