so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
im six kinds of drunk right now
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
