I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
