Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
