16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i now understand why vodka
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
