new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
