Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Your penis caused this!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
