We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
