so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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