actually, I'm a sock model
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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