Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
