you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
