Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
