You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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