That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize