my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
