haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i need some magic done to my vagina
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
