Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
