You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
