That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
