Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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