i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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