There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
