we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize