Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
