I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
