No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
