remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
