hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
