I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
