OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
