She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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