I must be too annoying 4 u.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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