I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
