So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
