I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
