Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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