We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize