1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
