so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
