he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
