We're like a lot better than the average bears
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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