I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize