if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
