I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
im on a boat
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