I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
